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I’ve had it for 3 months now. I was banging on about getting a Cactus for a very long time. 

I remember it like yesterday. I walked into the flower shop which was a cross Tesco. The wind was out and it blew like mad, my hair was all over the place. I felt like Michael Jackson.

I looked around at all the Cactuses. This Cactus shined for me, its sharp points and the green and yellow thrown into one colour. I was really excited thinking its going to grow like a tree. I picked it up and thought your the one. I walked out of the shop feeling really pleased with myself.

Now 3 months down the line all those things I imagined feel like a far distance memory… Only now after reading up on it. I’ve read that cactus have a short growing season and long dormancy.  I’m going to be waiting for it to grow for long time……………..

So, the waiting begins!!!!!!

Neelam Yusaf

Sweet dreams Grandad………………..

You made us smile and laugh, Not a day goes by where I don’t think of you. Your dead now but it doesn’t stop Dad buying your favorite drinks Mango and Tango which still nobody drinks.

The time’s where you sat us kids down and told your war stories. I wished I’d listened. I’ll always remember when you made me cry giving me grandmas ring.

Sweet dreams now Grandad… I’ll pray for you like you prayed for me when I was in hospital with a broken leg.

I’ll always have your good advise, not so funny jokes and grandmas ring which I’ll pass on to my kids…………………………………………………

Neelam Yusaf

A long day at work just filming my 10th movie under Steven Spielberg… Every thing’s all good. I’m driving down in my Mercedes-Benz while the hot sunny weather shines on my face. Coming home to my hunky movie star husband is just a dream come true…

BANG….. “That’s mum shouting “. My eyes open and the music goes of and the land is no more… I’m back to my own little mad world.

The Land is beautiful everything you want you get. It’s a shame its not real and it’s just my own little fantasy…. Closing my eyes to the music I love and having people I miss and love with me feels so real until your eyes open.

Inside there’s this confident and adventures character that wants to go places and do big things. It’s a shame this character stuggles to come out in the real world.

Living in a bubble that needs to be popped… This la la land seems to be never ending!

Neelam Yusaf

The sweaty hands, palms and sleepless nights…..That sick feeling in the stomoch as I walked to school for the very last time. I walked up to the desk and picked up my results. I looked around for a second, to see people smiling, cheering and laughing. I begged to GOD, I do well and be one of those people laughing and smiling.

Everyone stared, standing around to see what you got. I walked alone outside, away from everyone and opened up the brown envelope…..

That sudden sadness I felt…I had nothing to show for myself apart from a C in Religious Studies……

I worked hard but I guess it was not meant to be. I let my grades put me down for a very long time. All I did was waste time when I could had done something about it. Lying to Mum and Dad just becasue I wanted them to be proud of me for once.

You can be what you want to be. Never let people undermine you, or let exam results put you down. There’s always a second chance…. Trust me I’ve learnt from experience!!!!!

Neelam Yusaf

I really wish I could go as far as mission impossible…… Yep, this life’s hard! I’ve been on this earth for 21 years and this mission of mine is on a road to no where….

I’m walking a far distance to get somewhere here and close that door of my life, which is getting me down!!!

You’ll see one day, I’ll be standing tall and you’ll be knocking on that door, I couldn’t close….

By Neelam Yusaf